


Empty Smiles

by CosmoQueen



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoQueen/pseuds/CosmoQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moon Jongup, he's sweet, kind, compassionate, sunny, and a very weird kid. He's forgetful, spacey, and at times doesn't seem to be all there. He's just weird (that's what Yongguk figures). He's been that way since day one. Nobody pays it any mind anymore, it's just the way he is. Though something seems different these days. It's nothing right? Himchan wants to believe the leader who doesn't seem to notice.</p><p>Nobody ever asks, it's just Jongup being Jongup right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Such a weird kid that boy is_ Yongguk couldn’t help but think. “Jongup-ah!” He called him again. Third time was a charm because it finally seemed to break the boy out of whatever world he floated off too.

“Hyung?” He blinked.

“Hurry up and get ready, we’re about to go remember?” _This kid I swear………_

“Oh……….oh right. Sorry……” He got up from the couch and ran to the room he shared with the maknae as Guk just shook his head and made his way to the door.

Zelo was just putting his jacket on as he walked in, “Hey hyung, are you ready yet?”

“No not yet, go on with the others I’ll be out in a sec, just gotta get my jacket and IPod.” The maknae nodded and made his way out their bedroom. Jongup quietly closed the door behind him then kneeling on the floor by his bed, reached under his mattress for the money he hid there.

He counted it again for the umpteenth time hoping somehow there’d be more there than there was last time. There wasn’t. He knew this wouldn’t end well.

He quickly pulled on his favorite jacket and shoved the money into one of the inside pockets, grabbed his IPod from nightstand and made his way to go join the others who were already seated in the car by the time he got out there.

Most of them look annoyed as he squished his way through them to sit back by Zelo.

“Next time you take so long, we’re gonna leave you!” The leader fussed.

“I voted for them leaving!” Youngjae chimed in.

 “Sorry hyungs.” Jongup said with a small smile.

Himchan turned around from his seat in the front “Don’t worry Jonguppie, I would never let them leave without you.” He winked at the boy who in turn blushed and turned his head towards the window putting in his earbuds in time to not hear him get fussed at by the leader for flirting with the second maknae.

The boys were off to go shopping. The manager figured they needed to get out of the house and do something since they had a tad bit of downtime at the moment. And since Himchan was constantly nagging him about how he’d throw a fit if he didn’t soon get the chance to add to his wardrobe.

“Like you really need any more shit cluttering up our room!” He was not very fond of the visual’s shopping habits. Or really any of his many habits.

“Fuck you.” Himchan simply stated.

Nobody really paid attention when they were like this. That’s just how they were. Except for Zelo, who couldn’t hold in his giggling. No matter how many visual daggers Yongguk threw at him.

Jongup just stared out the window, listening to his music. He checked the time and prayed to whatever exactly is up there that everything would go as smoothly as he had hoped. This was the perfect opportunity and he couldn’t screw this up.

_Just 20 minutes give or take a few. If I do this right it shouldn’t be any more than that. Just in and out._

His own reassurance didn’t help much. It was all he had to go on though so he went with it.

The car came to a stop at the shopping center, but Jongup lost in thought again didn’t seem to notice until Zelo shook his shoulder.

They all pushed and shoved each other (something they did all the time) until they were all outside standing on the pavement arguing over where to go first. Well, mainly Yongguk and Himchan were arguing.

“Umm,” Jongup started by raising his hand, “Why don’t we split up? That way we can all go where we want too."

“Jonguppie that's such a good idea!” He grinned at the younger and lightly ruffled his hair while Yongguk rolled his eyes at the display.

“Hmm I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Manager Kang was always concerned for their safety.

“Okay then hyung I guess we’re all going to go watch me try on new outfits then?” Himchan commented, knowing full well nobody wanted to do such a thing.

“Yeah……………..why don’t we all split up. I’ll see you guys later.” Their manager walked off towards the nearest food stand.

“Well I guess we’re on our own now, why don’t we all meet up back here in say…….” Youngjae checked his watch, “an hour?”

“Yah, sounds good to me, come on Gukkie I need you to help me find something.” He dragged the leader off in the direction of his favorite store as profanity could be heard coming from the rapper.

“Well hyung, I guess it’s just you and me now.” Zelo smiled at his favorite hyung. Youngjae was already long gone with Daehyun following close behind.

They wondered around to random stores, looking at this and that. Not much was bought other than a few cds and a pair of sunglasses. Zelo was happy to be spending time outside the house with Jongup, even though he didn’t seem too interested in a single thing they looked at, “Jonguppie hyung, are you looking for anything special?”

“Um no, not really. I’m just glad to be out the house you know?” He tried his best to calm his dongsaeng’s worry at his indifference.

“Yeah, I get that. Oooo come look at this!” Zelo seemed excited at everything Jongup noticed. It was really cute.

He tried his best to seem interested………until he looked at the time on his IPod.

_Shit. I need to hurry or there might not be time._

As much as he adored this kid, he needed to get away from him. And SOON.


	2. Chapter 2

”Ugh, can I go now?” Yongguk was very annoyed at being dragged around by Himchan looking for God knows what.

“Aw come on I need you to help me” Himchan pouted.

“Help you with what?” he walked over to see what he was looking at.

“Finding something cute for Jonguppie!” He smirked.

“Ugh, can you leave me out of this please? I told you I don’t even approve of this shit.” Guk has told him this many times by now.

“And I told you, you can take your disapproval and shove it up your ass!” Himchan replied not even turning around from the various brands of graphic tees and hats he was scanning through.

“Fuck you, I’m outta here!” The leader turned and stormed out.

“Love you too baby.” Himchan called after him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 _Shit._ Jongup thought as he checked the time once more. He realized he would have to do something that he hates doing with every fiber of his being……………lie.

“Zelo, you stay right here I need to go find a bathroom.” He figured when he finally returned he’ll blame his long absence on getting lost.

“Yeah okay hyung.” Zelo replied while struggling to find his size in a rack of shirts he was looking at.

Jongup made his way towards the restroom eyeing the maknae closely. When he was sure he wasn’t paying attention he went the opposite way towards the front of the store.

Zelo being like most kids, realized late that he had to go. He quickly made his way to the bathroom hoping to catch up with his hyung. Who would’ve been out the door by then if he had not been helping pick up items he knocked out of a lady’s hands in his haste to get out the store “Mianhae noona!” he said to her with an apologetic bow then went out the door.

The maknae managed to catch the end of that scene and ran to the door in time to see Jongup quickly making his way away from the store and in a direction that would suggest he’s more than likely leaving the shopping center.

Curious as to where Jongup could possibly being and not taking him along he followed as closely behind him as he could without getting caught. And sure enough, that’s exactly what he was doing. Walking past the van they came in and crossing the street. Zelo figured it was best to stay on the other side, there wasn’t many places for a 10 foot tall teenager with blonde hair to hide behind.

He continued following him. Street, after street, after street…….he sure hoped Jongup knew where he was going because he sure as hell didn’t. And he was getting a bit nervous because they weren’t exactly in the greatest part of town.

After some time Jongup slowed down a bit and Zelo took note of the neighborhood they were in. There weren't that many houses in the area but what was there was quite run down and obviously unkept. Since the older boy had slowed down Zelo found himself lagged behind by quite a bit to better hide himself from getting caught. He really wanted to know where Jongup was going and why it was so important for his hyung to ditch him like he did.

It didn’t take long though. Jongup made his towards a rather shabby looking house, up the steps. He paused in front of the door for several minutes, before pulling a key out of his jacket pocket, sticking it in the doorknob and turning the handle.

 _Is this where he lives?_ Zelo wondered, though it was obvious. Jongup never did talk much about where he came from or about his family. He knew he had a father but didn’t say much about him other than them not getting along very well.

 _What to do now? Do I go knock on the door? Would he be mad at me for following him?_ He considered staying outside and waiting for Jongup to come out. But being in a neighborhood he didn’t know, all by himself, and since the sun was starting to fade, he decided having the dancer angry at him was worth the risk.

He jogged up to the door and lightly knocked on it, preparing himself for what would happen after his hyung saw him there.

Inside the house Jongup began having a mini panic attack upon hearing the knock on the door. _Who the hell is that? Did he forget his keys or……………is somebody looking for him??_

He badly wished their door had a peephole. He put his ear to the door but heard nothing. After taking a deep breath he opened it and saw Zelo, giving him a nervous smile “Um, hey hyung”.

“What the….” He stuck his head outside and looked around, then grabbed the boy’s arm and pulled him inside slamming the door shut.

“Zelo! What…………what the hell? What are you doing here?” He sounded angry to Zelo but actually he was more worried than anything (and slightly relieved).

“Okay don’t be mad hyung please. I went to go to the bathroom and I saw you leaving, so I followed you cuz I was worried, and I didn’t want you getting in trouble for leaving, and……..and…….is this your house?” He hoped he could change the subject.

Jongup sighed, “Yeah”.

Zelo looked around the shabby house. There were a few doors around (all closed), and across the room there was an opening that led to a kitchen and a set of stairs behind him.  The place was dusty and there was quite a few paper plates and beer cans scattered about on the coffee table, in tables, and even some on the floor. He also noted something strange; there wasn’t a single picture to be found. No family pictures, no baby pictures, nothing. The place seemed very…………….cold.

He looked back at Jongup to see him pulling a handful of money out of his inside jacket pocket. He placed it on the messy coffee table and then pulled out a piece of paper with a pen and began writing something on it.

“Hyung, what’s that for?” He didn’t try looking at the note like he wanted too. It was bad enough he already stalked his hyung.

Jongup looked at him, unsure of what to tell him, “It’s…………um…………best that you don’t know”.

 _What could he be doing that he can’t tell me?_ Zelo just stood there watching him. He kept all his other questions to himself figuring they’d just go unanswered anyways.

Jongup finished writing whatever he was writing and put the note on the table then placed the money on top of it, “Come on, let’s go”.

“Okay…” Zelo replied, very confused at whatever was going on.

They both stopped when there was a noise outside. It was footsteps, and then the jingle of keys could be heard just out the door.

“Oh God….” Jongup said, barely above a whisper. His brain trying to quickly figure out what to do before the door opened.

Zelo’s heart began to race. He had no clue what was going on but Jongup.................the look on his face................scared him to death.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Thinking quickly, Jongup grabbed Zelo’s arm and quickly shoved the confused boy into the nearest closest. It was pitch black in there and extremely dusty as well. He didn’t have much time to think any more about his surroundings before he heard a loud slam of the front door.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he heard a man’s voice say.

“I……..I…………I stopped by to…..…”  Jongup stuttered before being cut off.

“Did you bring me my money?” Zelo heard the man say angrily as his ear was pressed to the door.

“It’s right there.” He heard Jongup say.

After a few moments of silence, Zelo heard a noise. A noise that sounded like something being knocked over.

“What the fuck is this?” The man was yelling now, “This isn’t fucking enough Jongup, I told you what I needed!!”

“I know, I’m sorry! It’s all I had I swear” Jongup almost sounded like he was about to cry.

The man must’ve also noticed this because then he heard, “Are you fucking crying?”

“No I’m not!!”

“What did I tell you about crying??”

“I’m not! I’m not crying I swear!!” The sound was still evident in his voice though.

After a few moments of silence he heard the man sigh and say, “Do you realize the position you’ve put me in?”

Jongup didn’t reply.

“Answer me!!” he yelled at Jongup. Zelo flinched, this was getting scary.

“Yes sir.” Jongup replied, barely above a whisper.

“Shit,” The man groaned in frustration, “I guess I’ll have to figure something out.  I’m gonna need you here next week though.”

“What? Next week? Appa, no I can’t, we have a schedule!” Zelo was shocked; _Appa? Did he just call him that?_

“I don’t fucking care. I said be here next week, you will be here next week. Do you understand that?” He sounded even angrier than before.

“But, I….” Jongup didn’t finish his sentence. Zelo was hoping it wasn’t because what he thought it was. He kept hoping even after the loud thud on the floor just a few feet away from where he was hiding.

“You WILL be here.” The man said in a dark voice that send chills up Zelo's spine.

There was some silence which made the maknae consider opening the door but something told him that that was a very bad idea. So he waited. He tried to tell himself the faint sounds of gasping for air and coughing weren’t coming from his beloved hyung. He waited until he heard more footsteps, some shuffling around, and then the front door slamming shut.

Zelo took a deep breath and opened the door. He saw Jongup with his hand on the arm of the couch trying to pull himself up off the floor while his other arm was clutching his stomach. He ran to his side and pulled him the rest of the way up, then sat him on the couch.

He rubbed his hand up and down his back. It was obvious the boy was in pain. And he was still coughing. He didn’t really know what to do or say.

“Hyung?” Was all he could ask (once he saw Jongup was breathing okay). It wasn’t really a question but it was the only thing he could bring himself to ask out of the thousands of questions that were currently swimming in his head.

“Come on, we gotta get back now!” Jongup said to him before getting up and attempting to make his way to the door. Zelo didn’t say another word and held on to him arm to support him as they made their way out the door and back to where their van was.

They luckily made it back before the others. The doors were unlocked so they got in and seated themselves in the back.

The maknae eyed his hyung who still had his hand on his stomach.

 _What the hell happened? Did he hit him?_ His mind didn’t want to believe such a thing. Yet it was the only logical answer. He still didn’t know what to say. Between all the questions he had and him wanting to say something to comfort his friend, he had nothing. So he said nothing.

Jongup was staring out the window. All Zelo could do was stare at him. He was hoping he would say something; ANYTHING. He was scared; he wanted to know what his hyung was thinking, what he was feeling, an explanation……..ANYTHING.

He put his hand on Jongup’s and gave it a squeeze hoping that this small yet comforting action would help in some way (seeing as his brain was failing him on figuring out what to say).

The dancer turned to look in his direction and what Zelo saw in his face, and in his eyes scared him even more.

What he saw wasn’t anger, or sadness, or pain. It wasn’t confusion, or even fear.

It was nothing. Blank, dark, and empty.


	4. Chapter 4

It was around 10-15 minutes before the others were making their way back. All except for Yongguk. They piled into the van with many bags in their hands _(Himchan had the most of course)_.

“Hey where’s Yongguk hyung?” Zelo asked to nobody in particular.

“He went to go get Manager Kang” Daehyun replied while getting settled into his seat.

“What’s wrong with him?” Youngjae asked motioning over to Jongup who was still blankly staring out the window.

“Umm well…” Zelo tried to think up a decent lie, “he’s not feeling too good, I think it’s something he ate.”

Youngjae seemed to have bought it cuz he nodded in response, “So you didn’t get to shop at all?”

“No, we’ve been in the car almost the whole time.”He patted Jongup’s shoulder.

“Poor baby!” Himchan said while looking at Jongup with concern, “I’ll give you something to make you feel better when we get home okay?”

All Himchan got in response was silence so he tried again, “Uppie?”

Zelo reached over and roughly pinched Jongup on his thigh which seemed to snap him out of his trance “Ow, what…..” he stopped when he saw Zelo motioning over to Himchan.

He guessed from Himchan’s confused look on his face that he had once again zoned out and heard nothing of what was said to him. So he picked the most suitable reply that usually seems to work for any situation, “Umm, okay.”

The older frowned at him a bit but said nothing and turned back around in his seat. Though he couldn’t ignore the “umma” radar going off in his head signaling that something was off.

It wasn’t too long after that Yongguk and their manager returned to the van to take them all home.

Manager Kang got in the driver’s seat and buckled himself in before looking back at the rest, “Do I need to tell you to buckle your seatbelt every single time? Are you children?”

“Yes sir,” Daehyun said with a salute in a high pitched voice before buckling up _(Jae cracked up while everyone else was trying to act like they didn’t find it funny)_

“Smartass.” The man mumbled to himself as he pulled the van out to the street and back towards the dorms.

~~~~~~

After an uneventful ride home _(uneventful as in more arguing between Guk and Himchan plus a few smartass comments thrown in by Daehyun)_ , they were back home.

Himchan took his newly acquired _“unnecessary crap that he didn’t need”_ to his and the leader’s room then went into the kitchen to get dinner started.

He got together everything that was needed for dinner and proceeded to get everything cooking in its assigned pot/pan. Though somewhere along the way while staring at the stove and checking the time, he couldn’t help but notice something was off…..

 _It’s too quiet in here._ He thought to himself. Usually there’d be a smiling bunny following him around in the kitchen and asking him questions about anything and everything. He stepped out the kitchen and into the living room to only find Youngjae, Daehyun, and Zelo.

Dae and Jae were playing a video game. Zelo seemed to be watching them, but the look on his face said that his mind was somewhere else. He looked worried Himchan noted. And said smiling bunny he assumed was in his room as was their leader.

These days Yongguk spends quite a lot of time that they’re not traveling or performing either in the studio, in his room, or just anywhere on his laptop writing songs and composing music and such. It often seemed like that’s become his number one priority over watching them. Himchan also noted _(and quite bitterly too)_.

The smell of something burning brought him out of his thoughts as he ran back into the kitchen to save as much as could of his masterpiece _(as he liked to call his cooking)_.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Dinner went by like it usually did. Except for Zelo not being as chatty as he usually is, and Jongup not really talking at all. They finished eating and took their dishes to the sink. Yet Jongup had seemed to have spent more time poking at his food with his fork than actually putting any in his mouth.

The boy eventually managed to choke down the rest of his cold dinner and took his plate to the sink. As he was leaving the kitchen he was stopped when Himchan gently grabbed his arm _(he didn’t even realize he was in there)_.

“Hyung?” he questioned him after the older put his hand on his forehead and then both hands on the side of his neck.

“Sorry,” he said removing his hands from the boy’s soft skin, “I was just checking, you did say you weren’t feeling too good earlier.”

“Oh.” was all he could think of to say. Something about Himchan’s proximity to him was making him nervous and he wasn’t sure why.

“Well are you okay now?” Jongup nodded in reply, “Are you sure?” He asked again for reassurance.

“Don’t worry hyung, I’m fine.” Jongup said with a less than natural smile. He stepped around Himchan to leave when he was stopped yet again with a hand on his arm.

“Uppie, you know that I care about you right?” He said while slightly caressing the boy’s arm, “If you ever need anything, doesn't matter where or when, I'm here. Always.”

“I know hyung, thanks.” Jongup replied with another smile that seemed more genuine than the last. He turned and continued on to his and Zelo’s room.

The maknae was sitting on his bed with his headphones on when Jongup came into the room. They made eye contact for a second but much to the rapper’s dismay, he said nothing to him. So he kept on watching him. He watched as Jongup grabbed his school books off the desk in their room and began doing homework on his bed. He watched as he typed away on his laptop. And he watched as his hyung sent a few glares his way, obviously annoyed at being stared at.

 _Is he seriously ignoring me? Is he trying to act like nothing happened today?_ The silence answered his question. Zelo really didn’t want to be the one to bring it up, but seems like he had no choice……

“HEY!!” Jongup yelped as his laptop was snapped shut in his face, “Junhong what the hell?”

Zelo sat down on his bed and just looked at him, “Well?”

“Well what?” Though Jongup knew full well what this was all about.

“Are we gonna talk about what happened earlier today? With your father?” He waited for an answer.

“No.”

The maknae stared at him confused, “What? Why?”

“Because it’s just not something I want you involved in, now DROP IT!” He yelled as he got up from the bed and stormed out the door. He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath hoping to calm himself down. He really hoped that would be the end of that conversation _(he knew Zelo too well to really believe that)_.

He rubbed his temples trying to relieve some of the tension in his head. He looked up to see the creaky bathroom door open and their leader stop out with a towel around his waist.

He patted Jongup’s shoulder as he walked by and said, “It’s all yours kiddo.”

Perfect timing, a hot shower was just what he needed.

Back in the room Zelo sat there in a bit of shock. Jongup has never yelled at him before. In fact, he’s never yelled period. He never even seems to get angry. Though the more he thought about it, the worse he felt. He did follow him when he shouldn’t have, and ended up knowing something about his personal life that he obviously didn’t want anyone knowing.

_Why would he be hiding something from us? We’re always so open with each other. Do I even have a right to ask him about it?_

Zelo wished he could ask one of his hyungs for advice on what to do. He was just trying to be a good friend, he never meant to upset Jongup. He got up from Jongup’s bed and went to lay down on his own. He decided to just drop it like he was told to. At least for now. He laid there staring at the ceiling until he heard the door open and saw Jongup fresh from his shower.

“The showers free now.” He told him as he got dressed for bed.

The maknae just shrugged, “I’ll shower in the morning,” He pulled the covers up over his long body, and turned on his side.

Jongup was about to do the same, but he just couldn’t. He felt guilty and he knew he had to say something. He went over to Zelo’s bed and flopped down next to the boy who then turned around to look at him.

After a few minutes of silence Jongup turned his head to look the maknae in the eye, “I’m sorry Junhong, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It was wrong.”

“I’m sorry for following you, I know I shouldn’t have. I was just worried when I saw you leaving,” Jongup nodded.

“I understand, I probably would’ve done the same.” Zelo smiled at him and he smiled back _(which was confirmation that everything was good between them again)._ He then got up to turn off the light before getting into to bed.

Just as he was getting comfortable the light clicked on. He sat up in bed and saw Zelo rummaging through one of their dresser drawers. After he found what he was looking for he came over to Jongup and sat on the edge of his bed. In his hands was a sock with a rubber band wrapped around the opening, and something was in it.

“Junhong what….” But the boy shushed him. He then unwrapped the band and pulled out from the sock a rather large handful of money. He grabbed Jongup’s hand, placed the money in it, and closed his fingers around it.

Jongup was in shock, before he could speak Zelo said, “What can I say I’m a good saver. Plus, you have no idea how easy it is to charm money out of Yongguk hyungs wallet,” Zelo had a smirk on his face then added with a giggle, “he just can't say no to this cute face of mine!”

Jongup rolled his eyes at the boy, “Look, I really appreciate this but I can’t take this from you." Even though they were close in age he was still the hyung and the thought of taking money from the younger made him feel like he was taking candy from a baby.

“Yes you can hyung, you need this more than I do. You don’t have to tell me what it’s for, and I won’t ask.” Zelo told him with a smile.

All Jongup could do was look at him, he didn’t know what else to say other than, “Thank you.”

Zelo turned the light back off and got into bed, they said their goodnights and Jongup stashed the money under his mattress.  The boy was right, he did need it. Sure, he felt guilty as hell for taking his friend’s money. But at least now because of his friend, he’d live to make it up to him.


End file.
